Posted by Maria Dimitrova

Read this if: You want to get more ideas about the common things that impress a man and make him ask a woman out as well as decide he wants a relationship with her

Lots of articles and books have been written on the topic of man-woman relationships and yet it is still one of the hottest topics.

Relationships start with impressing the opposite sex, catching their attention so that they would like to get to know you better. How to impress a man is an important question for women but before that it’s even more important to know who to choose to impress if you want to gain mostly pleasure and avoid frustration.

Who to impress

Compatibility is one of the main factors determining the level of satisfaction. Your character, values, temperament and philosophy for life shouldn’t clash with your potential partner’s values and character. Communicating with someone who shares your worldview and passions is an effortless way for both of you to feel pleasure when you are together and impressing each other feels easy and natural. But it takes time to get to know someone.

Initially, a man’s appearance, his smile and manners is what can give you some information whether he deserves your attention or not. Don’t ignore your gut feeling. If it advises you to stay away from this person no matter how charming his manners are, be twice as careful as you usually are. You know that in the beginning people tend to show their best features with the aim to impress you.

A common mistake women make is to try so hard to impress a man that they don’t pay attention to what the man’s reactions tell them. Many people are focused on their performance and ignore what they can learn from the signals they receive from the opposite side.

Focus on understanding the signals a man gives you about himself. It’s easier said than done as it’s not an exact science and gestures mean different things from different people. Don’t presume that what you’ve learnt in your previous experience can be directly applied in a new situation. Every person is unique to a certain extent. On the other hand, there are a lot of common things in people’s behaviour. The more you learn from experience and observation, the better your orientation will be in the area of people’s relations and the better your ability to save frustration. This doesn’t guarantee you total prevention of mistakes. Remember “If it’s good – it’s great, if it’s bad – it’s experience”.

Your aim in impressing a man

There are three main situations when women want to impress a man – when they want a relationship with this man (considered the biggest percentage), when they want an adventure (no strings attached and no future plans) and when they just want to enjoy his attention without going beyond the zone of flirtation.

When you want to impress someone you have to be clear about what you want at that moment as there are certain differences in the things men look for in a woman when starting a relationship with a woman just for fun or with the intention to turn it into a long-term relationship.

Beware that when you consider yourself modern-thinking, free-spirited and want to start something casual for fun, your idea of it and the man’s idea of just having fun may clash. Women have shared with me that even when having a “no strings attached” affair, they still want to feel special for that man while being together with him and to be treated with respect. Unfortunately, some men won’t bother to give you this. After having sex with them, the charming smile and manners may vanish immediately as you are a “mission accomplished”.

Unless you are a clone of Samantha from “Sex and the city”, choose a man who has the same desire as yours and enjoys your company as much as the physical thing so that you don’t feel only a sexual object. From my personal experience, I can say it’s possible to have a satisfying “no strings attached” affair when you and the man are in a stage when you both want to avoid future plans and are willing to just enjoy the present moment with someone who is not your “soulmate”, but you like them enough to want to spend some time together until one of you meets someone more compatible or until the physical attraction lasts.

Ways to impress a man

The following things often catch a man’s attention and provoke his desire to get closer to a woman:

Physical features

It’s logical that people judge someone by their physical appearance when they meet them for the first time. It’s true for women but it’s even more important to men. One of the men I asked said: “Physical beauty isn’t the most important thing, maybe it has 70% of significance”, which is still a pretty high percentage. Fortunately, different people have different tastes and while it’s not obligatory to look like a model to catch a man’s attention, here are the most common things men appreciate in a woman’s look:

          * Fit body.

         * Long hair. It’s associated with femininity. One man shared that he liked women with tied hair. The explanation was that these women are not afraid of exposing their face features and that means they are more confident.

        * Dressed in skirts and dresses. However comfortable you feel in jeans and trousers, try enhancing your feminine look by wearing a skirt or a dress.

         * With natural looking make up. Many men have shared they like women whose make up isn’t too strong.

        * Smelling of clean just washed body or wearing an unobtrusive perfume. One of my male acquaintances went into details and described his idea of an extremely alluring situation – going out on an evening walk with a woman who’s just washed her body with a fruity smelling shower gel after she’s spent a day on the beach and wearing a just-ironed sheer dress:)

          * Trimmed nails/well-maintained manicure.

Manners and flirtation

          * An open and non-pretentious smile. Smile makes everybody’s face more attractive immediately when it’s genuine.

          * When your guy is near, gaze at him. Let him catch you doing it. Gaze approvingly at all of him, but only for a few seconds at a time. When you look away, he will be gazing at you. This is a piece of advice given by a man in an Internet discussion about good ways to flirt.

         * Don’t talk about your ex-boyfriend. Men say it’s one of the most annoying things as they don’t want to be compared.

         * Playful arguing and flirting.

         * Don’t show too much desire for a man. We are in the 21^st century but the chase is still a man’s privilege. Just try to find out by the signals he is giving you whether you’ve come upon a modern copy of Don Juan – your personality doesn’t matter, the chase is all he is interested in.

         * Dancing. It’s a perfect way to enjoy yourself in a disco and at the same time express your sexuality and sensuality.

Personality

The more a man feels a desire and is ready for a long-term relationship, the more the personality of a woman matters. These are the most common characteristics searched in a woman (possibly in a man too).

• Honesty and good-heartedness. Trust is vital for any kind of a relationship.
• Independence. A lot of men have a protective streak in their character and they like to feel strong and able to support. But you shouldn’t overuse this feature of theirs as equality is important for mutual respect. Being independent is sexy and this includes financial and emotional independence. Keep your old contacts and activities after you’ve started seeing him. Don’t ditch your girlfriends for him however tempting it is to spend as much time as possible with your current thrill. The hormone of pleasure dopamine might make it really hard to stay away from the man but by being all the time together, you are risking to suffocate him and your own thrill as well.
• Confidence. It’s a huge turn-on for both sexes. It shouldn’t be mistaken with arrogance, cold and impolite behavior, smashing everything on your way to a goal or lack of empathy and tenderness. Confidence is what people exude when they are aware of their worth and know they deserve to be treated with respect. You shouldn’t tolerate disrespectful behavior. Sherry Argov explains in details in her book “Why Men Love Bitches“ the negative consequences  when a woman lets a man get away with a disrespectful behavior. She also emphasizes how important it is not to try too hard to impress a man, especially in the beginning, because you will no longer be seen as a challenge by him and this will immediately decrease his interest in you. Don’t be put off by the title of the book. She uses the word “bitches” not in the meaning of “nasty and malicious women” but in the meaning of “strong, self-confident and self-respected females”.
• Intelligence. Having interesting conversations with an attractive woman is big plus to man. One of the men I interviewed said a woman’s ability to maintain a discussion and be able to support her opinion with good arguments was a big turn on for him. But he also pointed out that aggressiveness and arrogance in a discussion has a repulsive effect.
• Not possessive. It’s related to being independent. A man doesn’t want to feel obliged to be with you. He chooses to be with you by the mere force of the pleasure he feels in your company. By trying so hard to keep him, you’ll end up driving him away.
• Not playing the mother role. Helping him when he’s asked is one thing, telling him what to do and wear is another thing. It’s a real turn-off.
• Attentive and appreciative. Women often complain that men take them for granted, but do they show enough appreciation for what the man has done for them? Men share that feeling genuine interest in what they are saying to a woman is something that impresses them a lot.
• Ability to keep the balance in a conversation. A common mistake women make when talking with a man is being too talkative. It’s a well-known fact that women in general are chattier than men but in order not to bore him, you have to curb the urge to talk too much (I am still learning to do it ).
• Optimistic mindset, calm, easy-going, with a sense of humor, able to be fun, having her own goals and ambitions, hard-working. These things were often mentioned in male opinions as very attractive features.
• Ability to maintain her sex-appeal after getting married and having children. My male acquaintances said how important it was for a woman to avoid losing her femininity after settling down. They still prefer having a woman next to them not just a perfect housewife.
• No inhibitions in bed. All the men I asked included this in the list of desired things. It’s understandable as boredom in bed has an adverse effect on the relationship so it’s important for both sexes to use their imagination in bed and be open to new experiences.

And the bottom line is -you will not attract every guy but you will attract the one that is for you, if you stay true to who you are. It’s important to strive for self-improvement when you believe the changes you are willing to make in your lifestyle, appearance and character will do you good but don’t do it just to please someone else if you are not convinced in its value for you.

Recommended Books:

Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know

Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who’s Right and Avoiding Who’s Wrong

Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship